Happy New Year!
Another year has brought another string of conventions down upon our geeky little heads. Since I was unable to jet out to Las Vegas for this year's CES, I decided to do the next best thing....snuggle under some down comforters with a cup of coffee and watch my besties from G4 tell me the news. And boy, did they have some great news to share and show.
First off, where do I get that little SCUBA cleaner for my bathroom? The thought of having little robot slaves doing all my dirty work makes me drool. Just thinking about never having to clean a bathroom floor again is pure ecstasy. Yes, I realize I'll probably get a giant robotic swirly when the bots rise up and dominate, but until then I will be a taskmaster, shouting in my loudest dictatorial voice " You will clean behind the toilet or face the consequences!". Plus, having a robot house servant will make me feel rich and that's always good.
As a disclaimer, you will note that I will rarely refer to anything by its actual name. Many of the items have yet to be named and I'm was really sick while watching this and the flu-like hallucinations rendered me unable to do anything but go "ohhhhh, that's really tiny and cute tech" or "ohhhh, Morgan Webb has pretty hair", so just humor me on this point.
The Lady Gaga inspired gadgets from Polaroid made me cringe ( or was that new co-host Candice Bailey who drives me nuts...we'll talk about this more in another post.) I get that it is very techy to be able to go retro style all while maintaining the new tech, but that camera was HUGE and then to couple it with the instant printer that prints out old style Polaroid pictures ( you know you all just started singing " shake it, shake it like a..." in your heads, admit it)...well, my days of carrying a ton on things went out when I jettisoned the diaper bags. My camera purchase are based on two things: one, does it fit in my back pocket, and two, does it fir in my other back pocket? I refuse to believe that Polaroid thinks I will buy a camera just because a celebrity puts her name on it.
To shorten things a bit here, let's catalog.....big giant $18,000 computer....no thanks....even putting a 360 or PS3 in the console couldn't entice me to that deal....better 4G phones....possibly as the camera resolution on some where an upgrade from previous models and the screen clarity might really make it seem as if I was throwing those birds with better accuracy....all 3D products and I mean all....no thank you. A 3D movie used to be a treat, a spectacle to behold...now, it's just like leftovers; you liked it the first time, but by the third time your mom makes you eat the huge leftover pot roast from Sunday dinner, you never want to see leftovers again. Some things are never meant to be seen in 3D and we should just leave it that way. Though I will say those Oakley 3D glasses were stylish. Oh and Star Wars on Blue ray, hell yes!!!!
As a final note, more tech = more things I have to buy that are cool =closer we are to terminator domination. Skynet will be looming over us soon enough, so enjoy the new gadgets, buy a little glow ball to drive your cats crazy, and pray that those conference robots on a stick never become popular because they are freaky and just not right, people.
Until later,
Mischley
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